Showing Up Fully with Friends, Family, Coworkers—and Most Importantly, Yourself
You want to be honest. You want to be real. You want to be you.
But maybe you’ve learned to scan a room before speaking.
Maybe you adjust your tone depending on who you’re with.
Maybe you keep quiet about the things that matter most, just to keep the peace.
And somewhere along the way, all that shape-shifting starts to feel heavy.
Learning how to be yourself—truly, freely, consistently—isn’t as simple as just “being confident” or “not caring what people think.” It’s about safety. It’s about unlearning. It’s about choosing yourself even when it feels vulnerable.
At Annapolis, we work with people navigating all kinds of internal conflicts—especially around identity, self-expression, and belonging. Whether you’ve been through trauma, grown up in rigid environments, or just feel like you’ve lost touch with your own voice, this is for you.
Let’s talk about what it actually means to be yourself, why it can feel so hard, and how you can begin to practice authenticity—in your relationships, in your work, and in your own heart.
How do I completely be myself?
Let’s start here: You don’t need to be completely understood by everyone in order to be completely yourself.
How to be yourself begins with a gentle truth: who you are is allowed to exist, even if other people don’t fully get it.
But showing up authentically takes practice. Especially if you’ve spent years playing roles that kept you safe, accepted, or included. So if “just being yourself” doesn’t come naturally, here’s what it can look like:
- Start by noticing when you’re not being yourself.
When do you shrink? When do you say yes but mean no? When do you fake a laugh, agree to something out of pressure, or edit your personality just to fit in? Noticing these moments isn’t about shame—it’s about awareness.
- Create micro-moments of honesty.
You don’t have to spill everything at once. Start with one truthful sentence. One no. One weird joke. One request. One boundary. Small acts of authenticity build internal trust.
- Befriend the discomfort.
Sometimes being yourself feels good. Sometimes it feels awkward, edgy, or even guilt-inducing—especially if you were taught to prioritize others’ comfort over your own. That discomfort is part of the work. Let it be there without letting it lead.
- Surround yourself with people who welcome the real you.
You don’t have to prove your worth in every room. Some rooms just aren’t for you. The more you practice being yourself, the clearer it becomes who actually sees you—and who only sees the version of you they prefer.
How to just be yourself?
This question gets asked a lot, and understandably—because for many, “yourself” isn’t something that feels easy to define. You might wonder: Which version of me is the real one?
How to be yourself doesn’t mean choosing a fixed identity and sticking to it forever. It means creating space for the parts of you that feel true today—and giving yourself permission to evolve.
Here are a few gentle starting points:
Ask: What feels true for me right now?
This might mean expressing a preference, naming a feeling, or making a decision that reflects your needs rather than your fears.
Drop the performance, even if it’s subtle.
You don’t need to be the funniest, chillest, most agreeable person in the room. Try relaxing into silence. Try pausing before reacting. Try speaking up even if your voice shakes.
Check in: Am I choosing this from alignment or fear?
Often we say what we think people want to hear. Choosing from alignment means asking, “What would I say or do right now if I didn’t need to manage anyone else’s opinion of me?”
Remember: authenticity is a muscle.
The more you practice it, the more natural it becomes. The first time might feel terrifying. The tenth time feels freeing.
What does it mean to be yourself?
Being yourself doesn’t mean always being confident. Or always being bold. Or never adapting to your surroundings.
How to be yourself means:
- You tell the truth about what you want, even when it’s awkward.
- You allow your feelings to exist without needing to justify them.
- You let your values—not fear—guide your choices.
- You stop apologizing for taking up space.
It means living in integrity, not perfection. It means accepting that being yourself might not make everyone comfortable—and that’s okay.
Being yourself means you stop waiting to “arrive” as a perfect version of you—and instead, start honoring who you are in the moment, as messy and miraculous as that might be.
How do I be my true self?
This question often comes up when you’ve lost connection with yourself. When you’ve been performing for so long, you’re not sure what’s real anymore.
How to be yourself when you’re not sure who that is? Start small. Start where you are.
Try this:
- Make a “me” list.
Not the roles you play—but the parts that light you up. What feels like you when no one’s watching? What makes you laugh? What makes you cry? What makes you feel whole?
- Let yourself take up space.
In conversations. In decisions. In rooms where you used to go quiet. Ask for what you need. Offer your opinion. Use your voice.
- Say the thing.
The feeling you’ve been hiding. The truth you’ve been sitting on. The sentence you keep rehearsing in your head. Say it—to yourself first, then to someone who’s safe enough to hold it.
- Let go of the timeline.
Finding your true self isn’t a 30-day challenge. It’s a lifelong homecoming. It happens in glimmers—moments when you feel free, real, and deeply known.
Being your true self isn’t a destination. It’s a relationship. One you get to nurture—gently, and on your own terms.
Final Thoughts: You Are Already Enough
How to be yourself is not about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you’ve always been—beneath the pleasing, the performing, the protecting.
And yes, it’s scary sometimes. Vulnerability always is. But it’s also what leads to the kind of connection you’ve been craving—the kind where you don’t have to shrink, edit, or explain yourself to belong.
You don’t need to earn your place by being easier, quieter, or more “together.” You get to belong as you are.
At Annapolis, we believe that being yourself isn’t selfish—it’s sacred. It’s what builds honest relationships, healthy boundaries, and deeper self-trust. And if you’ve never had that modeled?
You’re not behind. You’re just beginning.
So take the next step, whatever it looks like. Write the real thing. Speak the truth. Choose the version of you that feels most like home.
You don’t have to be fearless to be yourself. You just have to be willing. And that’s more than enough.