The world feels bigger, louder, and faster than ever before—and kids are feeling it, too.
School pressures, social changes, and an endless stream of information can leave children feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and unsure of themselves.
As a parent, it’s heartbreaking to watch. You want to make everything better, but you’re not always sure what will help. That’s why learning how to help an anxious child is one of the most important tools you can have as a parent today.
This isn’t about “fixing” your child—it’s about creating a safe space for them to process their feelings, build resilience, and know they’re not alone.
How to calm your anxious child?
If you’re wondering how to help an anxious child in the moment, the first step is to slow things down—both for them and for yourself.
Here are some calming strategies that work for many children:
- Breathe together
- Encourage slow, deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Matching your breathing to theirs can help regulate their nervous system.
- Name the feeling
- Saying “It sounds like you’re feeling nervous” helps them feel understood and gives them language for their experience.
- Use grounding techniques
- Have them notice five things they can see, four they can touch, three they can hear, two they can smell, and one they can taste.
- Validate, then reassure
- Avoid saying “There’s nothing to worry about.” Instead, try: “I understand this feels scary, but we can handle it together.”
- Create a calming ritual
- Whether it’s reading a book, having tea, or sitting quietly, routines can help anxious children feel safe.
Remember: learning how to help an anxious child often means staying calm yourself. Your presence is a powerful anchor.
What is the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety children?
The 3-3-3 rule is a simple, in-the-moment tool that can help manage overwhelming anxiety. It works for adults too, but it’s especially useful when you’re figuring out how to help an anxious child calm down quickly.
Here’s how it works:
- Name three things you see
- Identify three sounds you hear
- Move three parts of your body (wiggle your toes, roll your shoulders, stretch your arms)
This technique brings attention back to the present moment, pulling the mind away from anxious thoughts. It’s quick, easy, and something you can do anywhere—perfect for when anxiety strikes at school, in the car, or before bedtime.
What are 5 warning signs of anxiety?
Part of knowing how to help an anxious child is recognising when anxiety might be present in the first place. Here are five common signs to watch for:
- Frequent stomachaches or headaches with no medical cause
- Avoiding activities or situations they previously enjoyed
- Trouble sleeping, including nightmares or difficulty falling asleep
- Irritability or frequent meltdowns over seemingly small things
- Constant worrying or asking repeated “what if” questions
Not all children will show anxiety the same way—some become withdrawn, others become more reactive. Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it’s worth exploring further.
What not to say to a child with anxiety?
When you’re learning how to help an anxious child, it’s just as important to know what not to say as it is to know what to say. Words can either validate and comfort—or unintentionally dismiss their experience.
Try to avoid:
- “Calm down.”
- It can feel invalidating, as if their feelings are wrong. Instead, guide them through calming actions.
- “There’s nothing to worry about.”
- Even if the fear seems small to you, it feels real to them. Acknowledge the feeling first.
- “You’re being silly.”
- Minimising their experience can increase shame and make them less likely to open up next time.
- “Just get over it.”
- Anxiety isn’t a choice—it’s a physiological and emotional response. Patience and support are key.
Instead, focus on phrases that communicate safety, understanding, and teamwork:
“I’m here.”
“We’ll figure this out together.”
“You’re safe right now.”
Final thoughts: You don’t have to have all the answers
Knowing how to help an anxious child doesn’t mean you’ll remove every worry from their world—it means you’ll give them the skills and confidence to handle life’s challenges.
By staying present, validating their feelings, and guiding them through calming tools, you’re teaching them that anxiety is manageable and that they have the strength to navigate it.
At Annapolis Counseling Center, we support parents and children in building resilience, reducing anxiety, and creating stronger emotional bonds. If you’re ready to learn more about how to help an anxious child, we’re here to walk alongside you.